A modern Tapas

It is a slow transition,
Something that took time and a lot of intensely tense moments.

A real sense of calmness has settled upon my demeanour, it has taken a lot of sculpting to get here.

I have had a lot of jittery moments that have questioned and tugged at my resolve; the desperate craving to be heard, to be seen and appreciated.

And then I made a pact with myself, to become the social media yogi.
To move away from the din of the moving madness, and like the Shiva, become a tapasvi.

It was ridiculously tough at the beginning, my thoughts always tugging at the need to come to a road that I have been addicted to.

There was never a day in the last four to six years that I have not opened my Facebook account.

I decided enough was enough, and I challenged myself to stop using it for a while.
A target of 21 days without social media interactions.

And ...

It's day 42 today,and it has been an intense journey thus far.

It's like a pilgrimage, to move away from something you have grown to like and connect to; to move away from the normalcy and the comfort into a place unknown.

At first , It was alien, my hands were fidgety to come back to the state of ritual.
Each time I had the urge to simply login , i had to manufacture a reason to stay away; to abstain from this addiction.

This act of training the monkey in the mind ; the child in the mind ,  away from its favourite toy is tough. This military ritual took time to sink in.

And believe it or not, I had a lot of time to simply sit at home and have a conversation.

It became a detachment.
Slowly the things that made the list of important things took a back seat.

And this aim to rid myself of this entanglement took center stage.

The connection of the being with people, the chaos of the interconnect was just getting too unreal.
And the relative cool shade of this isolation gave me the much needed connect with myself.

And now this calmness of the mind, the trained monkey in the head have become a state of bliss.

This state of disconnect,
An almost absence from the need to be heard, read and appreciated has been a personal transition.

A task I never could bring myself to even think of before.

Personally it has been a very calming influence.
From a person who sent write-ups daily for over 5 years to a readership of over 500 people,
To switch off this way has been a task that has truly been a Tapas.